So I did it. I read TWILIGHT.

For a long time I didn’t read it just because people I respected did not care for it much. Then I didn’t read it because I was writing my own vampire novel and didn’t want Stephanie Meyer’s vision creeping into my head. Then I just got kind of stubborn.

But I finally had to read it for another project I am working on, and this is what I have to say.

IT IS NOT ROMANTIC WHEN:

…you say you want to drive yourself home and a guy grabs you by the arm and drags you to his car.

…a guy follows you on a trip to another city because it’s not safe for you to be out alone.

…a guy sneaks into your bedroom without your permission or knowledge.

…a guy showers you with compliments, praise, and rapt attention, and then insists that you are not capable of taking care of yourself, so he will have to look after you very, very closely.

…a guy refuses to let you make any decisions, so that in order to save your mother’s life you have to sneak away from him.

…you say to a guy, “I love you so much it’s all right for you to kill me.”

IT’S JUST NOT. Okay? Are we clear?